An Itinerary of Emergency Duct Maintenance for Non-Municipal Workers

or “Boob Emergency II– Bleb’s Revenge”

Today marks two full weeks wherein, if you were to ask me what I’ve been up to, my response has been, “Me? I’ve had a plugged milk duct.”

You: “Oh, bummer. What else have you been up to?”

Me: “. . .”

I’ve also continued going to work, but my work days have looked like this:
Getting ready: Wake up. Nurse baby. Apply ointment. Take lecithin supplement/Advil/prenatal vitamin, for nursing and milk duct support. Coffee. Long shower for moist heat to affected area. Apply ointment. [Maybe eat something, maybe forget.] Nurse baby. Apply ointment. Get dressed. Nurse baby. Apply ointment. Give Charlie to his Grandad. Apply makeup/pack lunch or forget to pack lunch/brush teeth/walk out door/run back in door because I forgot my cane or keys.

Commuting: Walk to metro station. Slip on ice because I’m slouching weird to keep my nipple from rubbing against my clothes too much. Arrive at platform 25 minutes late. Start working while waiting for train and continue until arrival at destination.

Working: Check emails and get settled with haste, so that I can pump. Probably get some food, since I probably forgot to eat. PUMP BREAK! Apply ointment. Quick working desk lunch to make up for lost productivity of morning. Meetings. Meetings where I’ll occasionally be called on and say “Milk duct! What? Oh, I meant ‘create dynamic user experience.'” PUMP BREAK! Apply ointment. Meetings.

Probable afternoon doctor’s visit: To visit lactation consultant or OB (or physical therapist or rheumatologist. I am the reason your health care premium is so high. I’m sorry.)

More Commuting: Metro home. Work on that one thing I totally forgot to do while I was in the office but need to be knowledgable about by tomorrow’s meetings.

Leisure Time: Arrive home. Nurse baby. Apply ointment. Eat dinner. Take lecithin supplement. Nurse baby. Apply ointment. Shower to apply moist heat to affected area. Apply ointment. Nurse baby. Apply ointment.

If I've got to be stuck in bed, at least I have a jolly-good bedfellow.

If I’ve got to be stuck in bed, at least I have a jolly-good bedfellow.

Sleeping: But co-sleeping now, for easier all-night nursing access. Apply ointment.

That’s for a weekday. Days off are much simpler. This weekend, I basically stayed in bed and nursed and applied ointment. But I kept the blinds open, because it was nice out.

At some point, this thing will go away and I’ll be human again. Until then, this is what I’m up to.


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