2 New Year’s Resolutions

1. Don’t wear anything that’s been barfed on more than twice between laundering
2. Finish reading the August issue of Real Simple magazine I packed in my hospital bag

That’s it. I’m gonna keep it manageable.

Oh, and I’m also going to try to allow myself to be happy and am going to try to raise a conscientious child and am not going to pass on the legacy of dysfunction to my growing family and will eat more kale and will take control of my personal narrative and spend less time dicking around on the Internet while I’m nursing Charlie and am going to leave for work on time and leave the office on time and am going to be light and free and unburdened and a shining example of humanity to my son.

And I’m not going to wear anything that’s been barfed on more than twice. At least not in public.

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