I recently posted some things I’d found to be myths about early parenthood. The last on the list was about how people & the Internet had told me that being a new mom is impossibly hard, to the point that you can’t even imagine the terror. I noted that I haven’t found that to be the case, that I imagined it being MUCH worse. I got some feedback from other moms who are having a rough time, and I feel like I need to talk about this a little more. Let me be clear here: It’s still really hard. You can ask my new bottle of Zoloft exactly how the transition into motherhood has been. To anyone who might have read the previous post and felt shitty about how shitty they already felt: You are doing a great job. We can all pull this off. Hell, our mothers pulled it off, & they were all 21 and putting us to sleep on our stomachs and feeding us bottles of Tab instead of breastfeeding, because that was the style at the time. But they did it with some pretty good feathered bangs, so yay.
I know that this or any pep talk is going to register differently for readers whose babies have disabilities or medical issues than for those who have children without health problems. Charlie is a damned healthy baby, and I feel impossibly fortunate for that. As a cane-walker, I had concerns that my own physical disabilities would cancel out any healthy baby we might have in terms of me being able to pull this off. This was a major factor in us pushing back the kid-having as far as we did. But this has been okay too. I can do this, and so can you. I really believe this in my bones, which is rare for someone who faces the world with as much anxiety as I do. I could be wrong, but I don’t *think* I’m just saying this to convince myself that it will all be okay.
So, we should all collectively hang in there, probably while taking all the help we can get and having as much wine as we can cram down our throats while still remaining sober enough to care-take and/or breast feed. (So, you know, like a glass twice a week, if the more responsible and/or professional parenting websites are to be believed.)
So that’s the end of my pep talk that’s been sitting as a draft in the notes application on my phone for nearly a month. It turns out it’s hard to make time for pep talks when you have an infant. Anyway, go team!