The Fetus that Ate Manhattan

As I may have mentioned, the Fetus Pal has been trending large since the 12-week ultrasound. Not gigantic, but a character to keep an eye on. At my OB appointment last week, they did the somewhat imprecise over-the-belly measurement, as they’ve been doing lately, in which they bust out a tape measure and see how many centimeters are between the top of the pubic bone and the top of the uterus. The number of centimeters should correspond roughly with the number of weeks along you are. For example, last week, when I was at 33 weeks, I should have measured at about 33 centimeters. Instead, I measured at 37 centimeters, and so today we went in for. . .  I don’t want to say “emergency ultrasound,” but whatever the phrase would be to describe when they hadn’t planned on doing an ultrasound and then holy fuck they have to do an ultrasound as quickly as possible. We’ll call it an “unplanned bonus ultrasound.” Since the over-the-belly measurement is a good indicator, but not necessarily precise, we had a fancy, high-tech look today to determine the level of giantness currently possessed by our fetus friend. At 34 weeks, he’s measuring at 6 pounds, 14 ounces.

Holy balls.

He’s got six weeks to go, and he’s already almost 7 pounds. It turns out my over-the-belly measurement was about right; he’s measuring at the size of a 37-week-old fetus. So if his growth tapers off here, super. But a healthy fetus at this stage in the game gains about a half a pound a week, which means a 10-pounder if he shows up on his July 28 due date. And at the rate he’s been growing, we’re likely looking at closer to 11 pounds. Which is more baby than I have any desire to try to push out of my standard-issue vagina.

For the curious, here’s what an oppressively large fetus looks like:

In this photo (from top): Balls, profile, more profile.

In this photo (from top): Balls, profile, more profile.

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3 comments

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