Weight Loss Tips for Ladies: Seven Easy Steps

Step 4

Step 5

Step 1: Get knocked up.

Step 2: Get morning sick.

Step 3: Start to feel better about 16 weeks later and eat two well-balanced victory meals…

Step 4: …And then immediately get food poisoning and barf up your victory meals. (Thanks, Clyde’s of Gallery Place!*)

Step 5: Spend a day recovering by eating nothing but Fruit Punch flavored Vitamin Water.

Step 6: Weigh yourself the next day to find that you’re the lightest you’ve been since college.

Step 7: Don’t call your OB/GYN and fill her in, or she’ll for sure make you take a day off work to come to the hospital so she can put you on an IV, which sounds both inconvenient and gross.**

*Most delicious clam chowder I’ve ever had. In spite of the violent illness, I’m not convinced I won’t go back. In fact, I might go back every time I feel I’d like to lose a couple pounds.

**I’ll call on Monday, but I’ll hate it. By the time I woke up at 2:30 pm yesterday, after my riotous night of vomiting, her office was almost closed for the weekend and I wasn’t up for the drive anyway.

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