15 Lesser-Known Pregnancy Symptoms

Experienced by Me, To Date

  1. Throwing up in mouth when standing up too fast
  2. Torrential, 1.5-hour-long nosebleeds
  3. Vaginal hemorrhaging (Seems like cause for alarm, no? Apparently totally fine in moderation, but you should get a couple of emergency transvaginal ultrasounds just to make sure it’s the totally fine kind of bleeding and not the kind where you’re all going to die.)
  4. Extra face snot, like having a months-long head cold, starting before you know you’re pregnant and ending apparently never
  5. Big-time snoring (related to above item)
  6. Inability to sleep on your back, on account of the snoring
  7. Inability to sleep on your side, on account of the hip pain
  8. Inability to sleep on your stomach, on account of the fetus
  9. Hairline acne
  10. Jawline acne
  11. Infinite coldness (which will apparently be followed by infinite warmness. I timed my pregnancy so that my cold flashes are in the dead of winter and my hot flashes will hit in July. Because I really want to feel alive.)
  12. Vertigo
  13. Headaches
  14. Body aches
  15. Inability to put up with previously tolerable levels of bullshit
"Vertigo" was the only of these symptoms that didn't seem like it would be gross to illustrate.

“Vertigo” was the only of these symptoms that didn’t seem like it would be gross to illustrate.

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